You can use the sections below to go deeper, or jump using “On this page”.
Choose the moment carefully
Raise concerns when the person is as calm and sober as possible, rather than in the middle of an argument or intoxication. Be specific about what you have noticed and the impact it is having.
You can be supportive and still have boundaries.
Helping someone does not mean taking responsibility for every consequence of their substance use or behaviour.
Support can look like
- Listening without humiliation
- Encouraging professional help
- Helping with practical next steps
Boundaries can include
- Protecting children and finances
- Not covering up repeated harm
- Getting support for yourself
Avoid shame and labels
“I am worried because…” is usually more constructive than trying to force the person to accept a label. The aim is to open a route toward help, not win an argument.
If they do not want help
You may still be able to reduce harm, offer information, avoid financing the addictive behaviour, set boundaries and seek professional advice for yourself.
Children and safeguarding
If children, vulnerable adults, violence, neglect or serious risk are involved, the situation may require safeguarding advice rather than remaining a private family matter.
What this page is anchored to
We summarise guidance in original plain English. Open the primary sources if you want to check the underlying recommendations.
Look after yourself
Living alongside addiction can lead to stress, financial strain, secrecy and isolation. Families and carers can benefit from their own support, regardless of whether the person using substances engages with treatment.
Practical help — finding a service, sitting with someone while they call, helping with transport or attending an agreed appointment — can sometimes be more useful than repeated persuasion.
This page provides general educational information and does not replace assessment or advice from a healthcare professional. If you are worried about severe withdrawal, overdose, immediate danger or a mental health emergency, use our urgent help guidance.
Frequently asked questions
Choose a calm time, describe specific changes you have noticed, use non-stigmatising language and focus on concern rather than accusation. You cannot control how the person responds.
You can keep the door open, protect your own safety and finances, set boundaries and seek advice for yourself. Immediate risks such as overdose, severe withdrawal, violence or suicidal crisis need urgent action.
No. Clear boundaries can protect relationships and reduce repeated harm. Support does not require taking responsibility for another adult’s every decision or consequence.